i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
