U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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