I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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