sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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