so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize