She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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