I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize