do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
