New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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