Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
