Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i out mim tonsoeep
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
