so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize