Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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