My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
