So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
