Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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