I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
