Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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