we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
