You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
even my farts smell like vagina
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
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Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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