I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's never too late to be topless.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
