You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize