Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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