He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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