Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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