it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
