My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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