He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
