wanna go halves on a baby?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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