It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
