Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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