Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
