btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
