ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
And then he peed in my hair
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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