You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
