The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
did i just pee glitter
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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