I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
