I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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