I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
