And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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