So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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