Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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