Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
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Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
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I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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