I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
