So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
