No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
