peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize