Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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