Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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