at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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