There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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