He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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