I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
