You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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