Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.

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(206): View more from Washington

Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

What happened to him?

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum

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(224): View more from Illinois

I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God

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(416): View more from Toronto

We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again

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