I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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