I think i peed on brittanys purse
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?