Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel

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  (336): There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel http://tfl.nu/7mru
  Replies (16) Good night (761) Bad night (3307) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

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  (740): Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does http://tfl.nu/kyc4
  Replies (49) Good night (4466) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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  (760): new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever. http://tfl.nu/8efz
  Replies (33) Good night (570) Bad night (7989) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches

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  (732): I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches http://tfl.nu/f64u
  Replies (19) Good night (3862) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX

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  (517): My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX http://tfl.nu/rv1c
  Replies (23) Good night (973) Bad night (6077) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.

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  (778): We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's. http://tfl.nu/nlsl
  Replies (12) Good night (2803) Bad night (918)
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  (949): View more from California

  I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls

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  (949): I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls http://tfl.nu/ympq
  Replies (3) Good night (1523) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse

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  (+61): Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse http://tfl.nu/nf0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

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  (215): before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess http://tfl.nu/dqew
  Replies (15) Good night (1658) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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  (901): I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/oaek
  Replies (6) Good night (1253) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.

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  (207): I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table. http://tfl.nu/sbpv
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..

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  (229): Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it .. http://tfl.nu/xli3
  Replies (11) Good night (2674) Bad night (541)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS

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  (647): YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS http://tfl.nu/r5xh
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.

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  (914): But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level. http://tfl.nu/ncka
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.

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  (+44): You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon. http://tfl.nu/b5ax
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (165) Order T-Shirt

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