The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again