laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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