You just made me feel so damn special
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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