I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.