The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!