when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
this just has baby written all over it
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.