The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint