It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.