Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I need moral support for this bender
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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