we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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